| (no subject) |
[Jun. 15th, 2007|03:38 am] |
she left him so cold. how bold of her to go with the flock. she stayed in the past. he moved on; tried to atone for what he had done.she wasn't having it.
no response. no reply. no answer
even the one he thought would still stick by him has defected to the ones who despise him. she doesn't know the mistake she has made.
he mourns his loss, turns to those who care and to his god; the one who will always be there when everyone and the false idols have fallen. he must never forget what has been revealed to him.
still, he is sad that he has become so disconnected from those he was once close and continues to care about and love.what happened? why has the love and unconditional caring not been returned? has everyone become so wrapped up in their own lives that the only ones we care about are those that will benefit us? why don't we care about eachother more? he mourns all this and prays for togetherness,community,unity and love because that is all that is truely relevant.
the last time he saw her, the distance in her eyes was evident. it hurt him,but it didn't hit him until he got home later that night how much change sucks. that people can be so unfair and change with the drop of a hat. they just want to belong; the feelings of people they might of hurt don't matter to them, if they do matter, they don't let it show that it matters. they fake it. they disgrace themselfs and everyone near them.
the world can be a confusing place |
|
|
| my doggy! |
[Jun. 1st, 2005|09:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
 |
|
|
| long time no update |
[Jun. 1st, 2005|12:42 am] |
so i'm a senior now. it hsn't quite hit me yet. wow, top of the chain.! sweet!
i love kimberly anne land. |
|
|
| school is hell sometimes!!! |
[Sep. 20th, 2004|05:30 pm] |
Estranged
gnr
(axl rose)
When you're talkin to yourself
And nobody's home
You can fool yourself
You came in this world alone
(Alone)
So nobody ever told you baby
How it was gonna be
So what'll happen to you baby
Guess we'll have to wait and see
One, two
Old at heart but I'm only 28
And I'm much too young
To let love break my heart
Young at heart but it's getting much too late
To find ourselves so far apart
I don't know how you're s'posed
To find me lately
An what more could tou ask from me
How could you say that I never needed you
When you took everything
Said you took everything from me
Young at heart an it gets so hard to wait
When no one I know can seem to help me now
Old at heart but I musn't hesitate
If I'm to find my own way out
Still talkin' to myself
and nobody's home
(Alone)
So nobody ever told us baby
How it was gonna be
So what'll happen to us baby
Guess we'll have to wait and see
When I find out all the reasons
Maybe I'll find another way
Find another day
With all the changing seasons of my life
Maybe I'll get it right next time
An now that you've been broken down
Got your head out of the clouds
You're back down on the ground
And you don't talk so loud
An you don't walk so proud
Any more, and what for
Well I jumped into the river
Too many times to make it home
I'm out here on my own, an drifting all alone
If it doesn't show give it time
To read between the lines
'Cause I see the storm getting closer
And the waves they get so high
Seems everything We've ever known's here
Why must it drift away and die
I'll never find anyone to replace you
Guess I'll have to make it thru, this time- Oh this time
Without you
I knew the storm was getting closer
And all my friends said I was high
But everything we've ever known's here
I never wanted it to die
i'm kinda sad right now. band bites. sometimes i REALLY can't stand jon berg, the man cam be such an ass! i really wanna graduate and get the hell outta chico. i feel like no gives a care bout me.thats why i picked the song above. i miss val. theres so many things i wanna say to her. if she reads this, i hope she e-mails me. shes one of the few people can trust. i know some people care about me. Ann's sister cares, jessica judy and nicole callodo care. i love them so! such sweet kids! the daywas going so goood why did band have to go all funky? and why does sam not care bout me anymore???
oh well, tommorow another day. |
|
|
| groan, summer comes to a close |
[Aug. 16th, 2004|03:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | geoorhwe harrison-my sweet lord | ] |
hello,
to day has been a very odd day. i didn't sleep wort a damn. i got some new shirts. saw my friend melissa peplow at the mall (yay, i love that kid! i truely do.)
well friends, its another summer come and gone i'm going into my junior year and i wish it twas my last. sigh, i miss the hite-smiths, i miss ismah. Hell, i miss a lot of people.
heres a summary of my summah!
may 26: went to see my buds graduate. whew, that was a whirlwind of emotions. i cried so hard when i got home. i love my seniors! (the guys in a strictly hetro way, lol.)
june
i went t my dad's house then i stayed home alone for a while while my parents were on a honeymoon or somethin.
saw naomi and heather. theyre great kids. great to know them!.
saw vanessa cox. we watched tv and chit chatted. shes a sweetie!
saw putra pants. (travis) we had a blast playing counter strike.
july
went camping with the boys and girls club. that was fun!
marine world! wheeee!!!
august:
jon came back whoo hooo!
went to farm,ers market. saw jimmy c. saw lots of movies. baseically my summer was kinda slow until august when i went on my road trip!!!
I just got back from camping. It was nice, but I am glad to be home. Cylde got himself a fancllub, the girls would not leave him alone! The only reason why this perturbed me is I like Jackie Lee, who never left Clyde’s side. God, that made me mad! Anyways, we swam a lot and did some hiking. Melissa is a sweeet kid, but quite a feminist! Besides that fact, she was very sweet to me and I think she likes m more than Jackie does. I want her number. I am going to Oregon and Washington for a weeek. This is day one. So far we have drove in the car. Denis gave us a little carepackage;cds,candy,magazines;very cool. Anyways, we havwen’tt done anything big yet cept for mcdnald’s and listened to George Harrison.More later got 2 florence went on dunes stayed at old town inn. Et at moe’s 5 a half hours drive. Day 2 went on dunes nt rec area. Went up to seaside and the sealion caves.walked on hacati beach found sandollars. Took forver findind hotel wealked on prom went 2 see manchuriasn candidate. Et somewhere. Day 3 rode bikes, et brekfast. Then dreove 7 hrs to Kelly and jims.mom got sressted out. Day 4 watched mtv 20 rock. It was great yellow sub marine ruled! Unplugged grest moments was great. Gimme some truth was good. Pilp fiicttion was odd. The bourne supermancy was great.queen was phenomenal. I haven’t watched so many movies in 3 days iin my life! I played games with jim it was lots of fun! We vwent oon the ferry to pt townsend. The store owner at the record store there was kinda a dick I walked outta thgere with a cd in my hand on aciedent and he reprimands me like a child, kinda put me ina bad mood, but I recovered. Well, aafter that I played alotta halo then we left and wentt to evergreen. I am going thee for college no doubt bout it. It has everything I’ve been looking for. Well, now I’m in a hotel watching family guy and tommorow we are going home!c yea!!!!!!! I miss my friends! I wanna see everyone! It starts on Friday!! Wow, my trip will be ovr at 6pm tommorow, wow. Back to drumming,gasming,chatting,saying goodbye to val,Lindsay,etc and saying hell to my junior year! Wow, nly 10 days till school. Summers too shrt. O well, it was cool. This trip was as well |
|
|
| wow |
[Jul. 24th, 2004|11:20 am] |
|
wow its been a long time since i've updated. i got an xobox. and thaty's really alli an think of that is interesting. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2004|11:46 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | so mad i can't see straight | ] |
well, it official: my dad is the biggest asshole in the world. he was supposed to get my work permit so i could start my job on tuesday but instead as always, something went wrong and he took it upon himself to have no control and threw and pissy fit. Thanks to him petco willl NEVER hire me cuz they think i'm connected to him! grrr!!! and workability suffred too cuz now petco doesn't trust them. wow, why does my dad fuck up so many good things in my life??? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 12th, 2004|01:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nin-march of tha pigs | ] |
ohi'm feeling so lonely!!!!!
megan, why won't u answer me? Angela, will u ever forgve me?! Erin, did u ever care about me at all? Britni, this may sound odd, but i've always thought you were really pretty; Kp, wheres the love? jessica, call me! ismah, i miss you a lot! twinsies, i wanna see you guys sooooooooo much! lindsay, please call me or write me, i love you so! i'll always be there for you; Allison mcGaugh, why is ur number blocked?! i miss you! call me!!!!! Vanessa, i'm gonna keep calling ou till u call m e back. sarah, don't go to europe! jon, come home to where u sre loved! and thats all i loove you all! |
|
|
| adrift and at peace |
[Jun. 5th, 2004|01:47 am] |
hapy,
saw day after tommorow. it was good.
theres a blink182 song that describes how i feel abut well you know.
1 Feeling This
2 Obvious
3 I Miss You
4 Violence
5 Stockholm Syndrome
6 Down
7 The Fallen Interlude
8 Go
9 Asthenia
10 Always
11 Easy Target
12 All Of This
13 Here's Your Letter
14 I'm Lost Without You
Feeling This
I got no regret right now
(I'm feeling this)
The air is so cold and numb
(I'm feeling this)
Let me go in her room
(I'm feeling this)
I wanna take off her clothes
(I'm feeling this)
Show me the way to bed
(I'm feeling this)
Show me the way you move
(I'm feeling this)
Fucking is such a blur
(I'm feeling this)
I love all the things you do
Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
Place your hand in mine
I'll leave when I wanna
Where do we go from here
Turn all the lights down now
Smiling from ear to ear
(I'm feeling this)
Our breathing has got too loud
(I'm feeling this)
Show me the bedroom floor
(I'm feeling this)
Show me the bathroom mirror
(I'm feeling this)
We're taking this way too slow
(I'm feeling this)
Take me away from here
(I'm feeling this)
This place was never the same again
After you came and went
How can you say you meant anything different
To anyone standing alone
On the street with a cigarette
On the first night we met
Look to the past
And remember her smile
And maybe tonight
I can breathe for awhile
I'm not in the seat
I think I'm fallin' asleep
But then all that it means is
I'll always be dreaming of you
Obvious
I saw you again
I think you used me again
Should we try this before we give up and move on
And begin to restore what we have and hold on
It's times like this
It's obvious
I saw you again
I know you fucked him again
Can you cope for yourself with a sense of revenge
I saw you again and again and again
There's some room to move on, to move on, to move on
I saw you again and again and again
How do we fix this if we never the choice
I saw you again and again and again
There's some room to move on, to move on, to move on
I saw you again and again and again
How do we fix this if we never the choice
I Miss You
Hello there
The angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim
Of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally
If we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have halloween on christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends
I miss you
(I miss you)
Where are you?
And I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep
I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This 6 string's darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home
And stop this pain tonight?
Stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me
You're already the voice inside my head
(I miss you)
You're already the voice inside my head
(I miss you) |
|
|
| argh |
[Jun. 3rd, 2004|02:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | guns n roses- mr. brownstone. | ] |
i miss my senior friends. i'm only 16 and i really do want to get the fuck out of chico. Don't get me wrong though, i love chico, but it's time for a change. i'm moving to Seattle with jon and whoever else wants to come. Wheeee! well, that will be after high school of course. sigh, i think i'm going to go e-mail some people. |
|
|
| update |
[Jun. 2nd, 2004|02:44 pm] |
hello all,
ok the current day is june 2. its been a very long time since i updated. so, hers everything u might have missed.
i told megan vaugt how i feel and she aklready knew it (of course!). i went to graduation and cried my eyes out. i swas at my das for a week and i was as misreble as always.i saw vanessa cox last sunday. she is soo sweet! A true friend i have found in her, thank god for that! we talked and caught up, all while watching the 50 worst songs EVER! it was great! i wish that i hung with her more last year. my intunitions rule!! I miss my senior friends! I wish the twins would call i want to see them soo much!! I think Megans avioding me. i wish she'd return my calls. i can't beileve angela has betrayed me! she obviously does'nt know how important she is to me! 'sigh' i want to call her but i don't want her to be angery. i think since i can't call her, i'll just send her a letter asking her why and if she hates me. i hope she doesn't! i love her so! its only been 3 days since i've seen vanessa and i already miss her. i hope she calls me!
i made a new friend today my boss's dsughter, zoey. shes really cool. we migt hang out. more on that later.
ok, i'm exhausted.
bye |
|
|
| uhhhhhhhhhh |
[May. 22nd, 2004|10:57 am] |
|
uh ok i'm a mixture of things. i'm happy i told megan vaught how i feel about her but i hope it didn't kill our frendship. i love her so! shes been so good to me this year and to not have her as a friend would kill me so! oh lordy! "blang dang shabble doo kabba do asinkbadoo castong azing bonk"( paul macca) ok, i'm done more later |
|
|
| open up |
[May. 8th, 2004|03:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | complacent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Zepplin-kasmir | ] |
hello,
i'm gonna spill out everything i am feeling right now and it will hurt me just as much as it may hurt you. so please i'll say this, "my heart is like a wheel, let me roll it to ya!" (paul mccartney. ok here goes 'takes deep breath'
ok, i'm a very happy, loving kid and i love so many people. but, i know, like all people, i do have anger and times of depression.Like for example, my mom is great and all but for the love all that is good, she can be such nag and so fucking irritating. like today, i get up and they first thing, i get is (besides good mornining sleep well, etc) "what are you doing? you gotta get going. don't give me shit. you have to clean ur room (i did that about 15 times this week), do ur laundry, and ask dennis if he wants help in the yard ( no big deal, but no something i wanna do first thing in the am). then when i protest she gets all wise assed with me, "oh ya, garv, we all wish we could laze around all day like you." tah, giime a break! when the fuck have i been all week? school! I NEVEr have time to do al the things i want to do and truely relax on the weekdays and everyday my om prints out all my missing work and bitchs at me and brings it up when i could care less about school. that brings me to my next topic: school. i love my friends but i don't like work (who does?) and theres this asshat named Justin in my 6th period who is one of the only eople i would ever hurt. who treats me like shit for no apperant reason beides the fat he's fucked in the head and the things he does are so juivenile( he'll trip me, make fun of my bisexuality, say i smell like ass, invite everyone but me to go paintballing (like i woild give a fuck?) oh and my ex- best friend Bryce haes me because i'm b. Hes a sck bastard! He truely beieves throwing away 3 years worth of parties, ams, laughs and friendship in general is ok because he thinks theres something wrong with bisexuality. i thughy i could trust him! fuckheads!!! ' screams and rips apart a pillow' ok,on a happy note ' pauses to gasp for breath'Erin Aust and Jodie Nixon are two of the sweetest peopl in the world. Erin makes me feel so good as does Jodie and they truely want to hang with me and care out me. i hope Erin doesn't go to far away for college (thatrs what e-mails for fortunatly!) nd Jodie will always be there. Erin kicked ass in the play last thursday. i'm glad i went! well, thats all for now!
see yuh,
garvis |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 5th, 2004|04:09 pm] |
Poll #289289 Random things
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 2Apc Or Tool?? |
|
|
| today |
[May. 4th, 2004|09:08 pm] |
hello,
y day was ok. coulda been better. i miss jon! talking t him rocks tho!june needs to hurry up and come! anyhow,m y day was ok. my partry will be small but thats ok actuly it'll be nice to see the gang again! i wanna see lindsay!! i miss fue!!
o and i should say this: when i'm having a crap ass day. Meghan, lindsay and val (and jon) make it better! an example of this was on monday. i was down and out and good ol val talked to me and i instanly felt better; i had a crappy weekend ast week. i called megan and my no prom, hating being at my dads house woes went bye bye! love you guys!
song: paradise city by: guns n roses
Just a' urchin
livin' under the street
I'm a hard case
that's tough to beat
I'm your charity case
So buy me somethin' to eat
I'll pay you at another time
Take it to the end of the line
Ragz to richez or so they say
Ya gotta-keep pushin'
for the fortune and fame
It's all a gamble
When it's just a game
Ya treat it like a capital crime
Everybody's doin' their time
Take me down
To the paradise city
Where the grass is green
And the girls are pretty
Take me home
Strapped in the chair
of the city's gas chamber
Why I'm here I can't quite remember
The surgeon general says
it's hazardous to breathe
I'd have another cigarette
but I can't see
Tell me who you're gonna believe
Take me down
To the paradise city
Where the grass is green
And the girls are pretty
Take me home
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
Captain America's been torn apart
Now he's a court jester
with a broken heart
He said-
Turn me around and
take me back to the start
I must be losin' my mind-
"Are you blind?"
I've seen it all a million times
Take me down
To the paradise city
Where the grass is green
And the girls are pretty
Take me home
gosh, i like gun n roses! but i hate axel rose! what a dick! hes the reason theyre up in the air right now! eeeesh! |
|
|
| today |
[Apr. 18th, 2004|04:38 pm] |
today was a good day besides a big old fight with my om but if u wanna knowe more bout it im me ok? i don't want to get into it all right here. ya, my weekend was ok. i got a new cd and i wriote a new song and met some kool people online. so, ya ok thats all by bye!
i love u ALL! (escept a certain few who will not be named, if u know me. you can figure out who) |
|
|
| yo |
[Apr. 18th, 2004|04:36 pm] |
o, he below entires are way out of date! they are from my old profile!!!
Lindsay Chrisope is the shit!!!!!!! |
|
|
| Sweet kids, good times in computer class |
[Apr. 18th, 2004|04:35 pm] |
hi,
wow, i like people! Sam is such a postive, hasppy girl. she's another person i admire; so hard working! Sadie is my sister! well, not really, but darn close to it. i spend so much time over there i'm like a new addition, lol. jared bonner is such a fruit. yeah, that's right, i hate him.lol, no, not really.he's ok.
bunny is sooooooooo awesome! i did'nt really say much today and she still said hi and bye to me! that's so cool! She is truely my friend and i am hers; this proves it!
meghan vaught is such a sweet kid! i know i know her from somewhere besides school, but i can't think of where, weird. i hope i did'nt offend her today. i basically ignored her and foucused all on Sadie, oops! i love her, i would never mean to hurt her, i hope she knows that. Sam and Daniel are such a cute couple! it makes me soooo happy to see her so in love and having someone (besdies me, of course) to lean in and be loved by. she desrerves someone like Daniel; what a good guy he is! and he does'nt treat me diffrentrly when she's around and neither does she! well, she kind of ignores us, but that's ok. yay for Sam, she's found her lover! i hope he does'nt hurt her. i know he won't, but there's always a chance......
(Comment on this)
Thursday, January 8th, 2004
11:04 am goodtimes in computer class
hello,
i am in my computer class right now and i thought i'd post. i did al ot of thinking last night; about friends, life and everyhting that has been happening in my life.
i thought about Jessica pinnel and still do think about her a lot. her life must be so hard! it's amazing how she can manage a child,yearbook school and still be so happy and supportive. she is definetly someone i admire.
adies back! i'm so glad. life without her was not the same; can't wait till saturday, the gift exchange will be so much fun! heck, everything i do with Sadie is fun! I'm enjoying life again; sadie's back in my life,i see everyonbe from saga, i'm doing good in school and life just rocks again! all that's mising is jen hs , but that's ok, feburary is just around the corner!!!
peace
garvis |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 18th, 2004|04:33 pm] |
hello,
this is my first post. i just started school. it's been the same old same old stuff: science is still boring and obnoxious (damn those 9th graders in my class, shut up will ya?!) math actully put me to sleep today.English was same old, same old.
mrs. martin and i finally cleard up the whole saga mess. gosh, she's a nice lady!
god must like me. i got kicked out of saga and i still see everyone! before i got kicked out i hardly saw most of the kids in there outside of saga ,but now i see them all the time.
Val hite-smith passed me in the hall and gave me a nice,friendly smiile;i love that kid! i also saw sammers today. she's such a postive person in my life,so swee and kind,smiling and constantly making my day better.
oh, i miss saga already! everyone in there is really cool fourtunatly, i see them all a ton which is good cuz i like them all. especially jess van gilder; i don't have a favorite person in that class but she's just so cheerful, kind, optimistic and loveable she's someone i'll treasure forever! she's a sweet kid.
The kids in saga always brighten up my day. that's what i looked forward to at the end of the day. i still can't beileve martin threw me out!
o ya and i just feel i have to mention how cool lindsay houser is! she's so sweet and funny and always happy! i'm glad she's doing good.
james and jodie are also people i owe a lot to jodie, for putting up with all the stress i put her in and still happy to see me in the hall. james, for lettinng me chew his ear off and always supporting me.
oya, sam and jess are amazing and great because even uder pressure and with all the crap i put them through they were always paitient, kind and happy. o, and they worked their asses off too!
susan, great buisness manager, whew! she handled all those adds and didn't freak out (unlike me, lol)
Tonyand kp: wow, what kick ass editors! they stayed up till 11 working on our drafts;and kate made me correct my story 6 times before i left! that's a good editor!
brendan could care less about his work , but his sprit and good nature was a tremendous help, love you man!
jen kim, what a sweet kid! she may be a little quite but, that's ok.
geneva, i finally got you to talk and boy, when you talk it always counts! sweet kid!
rachel, thought you coud escape me huh? thought spanish was the last time we;d be together? wrong! lol you're so nice! val, so so paitient. sorry you had to run down with me for a last minute paste-up pic!
katie mitchell, sourround sound IS scary! lol!!!!
stepen please don't baby-sit me EVER again! that was really dumb.
Nalini, you're swett but please! do your stories ahead of time! and last but not least,
Lauren, you are nuts! but, who is'nt? love ya anyways!
wow, this turned into somethin i'd write in a yearbook lol! o well, at least i know what i'll put in people's yearbooks!
talk to you all later, i have to go eat,
garvis |
|
|
| the package and more |
[Apr. 10th, 2004|11:08 pm] |
a perfect circle - thirteenth step
the package
words: maynard james keenan
music:billy howerdell
intro: clicky drums follwed by deeep ass bass (damn you, twiggy!) and a nice little diddy on the guitar
clever got me this far
then tricky got me in
i am what im after
i dont need another friend
smile and drop the cliche
till you think im listening
take just what i came for
then im out the door again
peripheral on the package
dont care to settle in
time to feed the monster
i dont need another friend
comfort is a mystery
crawling out of my own skin
just give me what i came for
then im out the door again
lie to get what i came for
lie to get just what i need
lie to get what i crave
lie and smile to get whats mine
i am what im after
dont need another friend
nod and watch your lips move
if you need me to pretend
because clever got me this far
then tricky got me in
i'll take just what i came for
then im out the door again
lie to get what i came for
lie to get what i need now
lie to get what im craving
lie and smile to get whats mine
give this to me
billy and james go into into thrash metal mode
mine, mine, mine
take whats mine
mine, mine, mine
take whats mine
mine, mine, mine
Solo, and several other rythem guitars bust out
give this to me
take whats mine
mine, mine, mine
take whats mine
give this to me
take whats mine
take whats mine
mine, take whats mine
take whats mine
take whats mine
this is mine
mine, mine (whisper)
i'm worried about my friend. shes seems upset but won't tell me anything. i know she's stressed or something she's bein crying a lot latley, but i know its cuz the japanese exchange students left. is there more?? |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
garvis_farvis's journal
1 (50.0%)